.....and audition and audition and audition...

Today's contestant seemed like a good idea at the time.
He answered our ad on the musician's web-board with all kinds of promising words, like "I'm really keen to play. I'll work hard. Gimme a job, gimme a job, fetch the stick, good dog, laddie". As we've already mentioned, a willingness to do the practice, come to rehearsals and learn the set is a pretty essential criterion with a gigging band.

He'd just graduated from university with a degree in something to do with trees, environment, sustainability, yada yada yada. So not a dummy. Good. Because he's a poor student his gear is a bit crappy but now he's working he'll be updating. Fine, fine. We send him a brief version of the setlist and tell him to come over and say hello. (Remember rule one - can you stand them?)

Long story short. He can play. Technically capable. Personality of a running shoe. Commitment - ya'whut?

He turned out to be an AD/DC fan who's never heard of anything on the setlist...like Blondie. Garbage. Natalie Imbruglia. The Bangles. Hey ho - "here's the tabs, do you think you could learn them over 12 weeks?"

No. No he couldn't. Not interested in this kind of music.

"Did you READ the ad? You must have, you answered it with promises of enthusiasm and willingness to learn."

He didn't think we really meant it - or something. Thought we just wanted to play, ya know?

He disappeared in a cloud of Brut aftershave and a clapped out red Torana.
Bye bye AC/DC fan. So long and thanks for nothing.

Todays lesson:
When you advertise on a musician's web board be very clear and explicit about who and what you want.That means thinking carefully about who you're looking for. If you want a to play professionally (even if you only want one regular gig a week to fit in with another job) you have to make it clear in the ad.

• Phrases like, "for professional gigging" or "goal: paid gigs" will make it clear - we hope. You don't have to hold out for a pro-guitarist, especially if you're a new, young outfit, but you've got to set out what you really, truly expect.
• If you need someone technically competent (who can play) from day one, say so.
• Set out practice or rehearsal schedules up front. Same for the band's "style" and some indicative songs from the set-list.
• Explain (nicely) that this song/setlist is non-negotiable and that your new guitarist must be willing to learn the stuff the band already plays.
• While you're at it, explain that this is an already established band of musicians who need someone who's willing to fit in with the established structure. (Feel free to s t r e t c h the truth a little on this. Even if you're newly-formed, if it was your ideas and energy which got things rolling then you have the right to keep your original vision alive, at least until its proved to be a bit astigmatic.)