Teen Groove Goddess is currently engaged in a campaign to unseat a girlfriend and stage a hostile takeover of her man. She's using a subtle mix of sneering and derision, subterfuge and dirty pool as well as enlisting the lobbying power of this guy's best-mate who hates the current girlie for reasons more closely associated with homo-erotic jealousy than any of us wish to discuss.

Last evening TGG surpassed herself by throwing the boy a birthday party, inviting all his favourite people and giving him the best gift - the thing he wanted more dearly than anything else in the world. The girlfriend gave him shoes. (She's doomed.)

TGG also put a cheap badge on top of the giftwrap - and was filled with joy and malicious pleasure when he pinned it on his jacket and showed it off to everyone at the table. I understand she did a passable Monty Burns impression, rubbing her hands together and muttering "excellent...."

So, when it came to end of the night and the girlfriend went home by other means, TGG won the prized front-seat next to the love interest for the ride home...perfect....except the fool-boy had arranged to pick up girlfriend to go back to his place later and, instead of dropping off TGG and then picking up the encumbent, he decided to pick the girlfriend up BEFORE dropping off TGG. (You have to sigh at the knuckleheadedness of young men these days.)

Anyway....they pulled up at the girlie's door and she came to the car and asked TGG to please vacate the love seat and get in back. You should have SEEN my lovely girl when she arrived home, smoke rising from her ears and murder in her heart. She knows very well the importance of the front seat and was mortified and FURIOUS that she'd been asked to hand it over. You realise of course that this means WAR and that it'll be gloves-off now until the knucklehead is roped and branded.

But I ask myself, since when is it girls who have to woo skittish and shy laddies? I'm sure it used to be the other way round...but at least it'll to be an amusing diversion for a week or two.